Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and

gathering them around him, he taught them, saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn.

Blessed are the merciful.

Blessed are they who thirst for justice.

Blessed are you when persecuted.

Blessed are you when you suffer.

Be glad and rejoice for your reward in heaven is great.

Then Simon Peter said,

Do we have to write this down?

And Andrew said,

Do we have to turn it in?

And James said,

Does spelling count?

And Phillip said,

Will this be on the test?

And Bartholomew said,

What if we don't know it?

And John said,

The other disciples didn't have to learn this!

And Matthew said,

When do we get out of here?

And Judas said,

What does this have to do with real life?

And the other disciples likewise.

Then one of the Pharisees who was present

asked to see Jesus' lesson plan

and inquired of Jesus

his terminal objectives in the cognitive domain.

And Jesus wept.